tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78486925138648109122024-03-08T10:48:47.602-08:00A New NormalBeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-71180739914016166082011-10-03T14:28:00.001-07:002011-10-03T14:28:31.429-07:00Closing the Blog<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I realized I have not written a post in quite some time. I will be honest recovery takes so much out of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All that extra time you have to watch tv, read a book, write a blog post, is taken up with by healing, recovering and trying to retrain your behavior from what it was for the last 5 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What do I mean by this, think about it, for 5 months I was thinking about the horrible event, negative thoughts, bracing myself for disappointment, or bracing for the next issue that would arise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So now I spend most of my extra time trying to think positively, repeat to myself that we are blessed, talk to groups about our experiences and what we did to move forward etc. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was speaking to my mentor last week and I started telling him about how I bumped into a colleague of mine on campus who had not heard about our “journey”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I begin telling her about the tornado and the events that followed and I started crying, I couldn’t help it, that emotion just came up out of nowhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mentor told me that I was still suffering from PTSD, still to this day after all the good thing that have happened I was still having emotional distress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only share this because I wonder how much people realize what really happens to their fellow beings when tragedy occurs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had a national speaker on campus last week who began telling us about the tornado and how it ripped through Tuscaloosa, and how many people died, and on and on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I mention he was from Seattle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seattle!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have that all the time those that were not here who feel like they should tell me about the event and what happened to the town.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have had a certain family member who is still doing it. If I ain’t crazy yet I soon will be!</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So for the last 2 months Bobby and I have done a lot of great healing things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got the house as many of you have already read and boy have we been busy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have changed the floors, painted everything, fixed the bathroom, fixed the kitchen, and trying to clean the yard up (previous owners were not really yard people).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been purging like crazy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The piles consist of damaged, donate, and oh my god why do we still have this and what irony it survived the tornado.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our life is completely different now, our house doesn’t even resemble the same house we had 6 months ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have changed as a couple and as individuals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have cut ties with some and created stronger bonds with other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am working for a new department and loving every minute of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have created new working relationships and am currently trying to give back to my community and to those that helped us the most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Every day I meet a student who gives me chill bumps when sharing their stories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every day I have tears well up to see what we as a university can do to help our students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the University that I remember this is the University I fell in love with 8 years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have missed you!</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today I drove by one of the most damaged sections of Tuscaloosa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 4 block neighborhood that was wiped clean from this earth in less than 20 minutes is now a beautiful meadow with wild flowers and bright green grass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is gorgeous and rich with life. It sits right in the middle of Tuscaloosa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart was at peace for the first time driving by that area today.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is time to close this blog I think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are not healed completely but we are at a new normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are at a new phase in our lives. We have survived, with have thrived, and we have given back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took a tornado to change things but in the end I think they are for the better and we are grateful.</span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-64537688233040380492011-07-22T09:47:00.001-07:002011-07-22T09:47:51.924-07:00Final Count Down to Normal<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Almost 3 months out since the tornado.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone said the other day it is sad how Tuscaloosa residents are now saying post tornado or before the tornado when talking about time frames.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Almost like post-war stories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The city has become like fields of dirt over the last few weeks with so much debris being cleared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our city council has finally brought forth a plan of action to rebuild and I am hopeful all those waiting on building permits will not be waiting much longer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know there has been so much controversy over what will be done with the land that has been cleared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will it become commercial, will it become condos, and will apartments rule the borders of the university.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I, for one, am glad to see the city put its foot down and left much of the residential area that was destroyed as residential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would hate to see the town become non-family friendly and put up even more apartments then we have students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know some people wanted condos and apartments and commercial areas but that would make all the residence have to go out to the county just to find housing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think our Major is doing an excellent job and he is really hearing what the residences of Tuscaloosa want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kudos to you Major Maddox!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our body shop for the cars I think is screening my calls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have proof yet but they can’t all be at lunch from 10-4!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The truck is in the shop indefinitely and the old ford now needs new breaks and has stalled like a million times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks Bob! Way to go there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still not angry, ok maybe a little angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We might just have to figure out how to get another rental car; I can’t stand the idea of Bobby driving that thing back and forth to Birmingham anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would drive it but I am not very good at a manual and I can’t even push the clutch down it’s so stiff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My car is still acting very peculiar and needs a lot more body work before I can say its fixed but it is running and the air is working so I suppose I have absolutely no room to complain.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I start my new job August 1<sup>st</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am extremely excited about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope I am doing the right thing, I think I am doing the right thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to be doing the right thing, right? Funny thing about that tornado, it makes you want to either jump ship or persevere through things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided the job wasn’t worth it and my academic career was so here’s to a new chapter; let’s hope it opens many doors! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I start back to school this August.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You might remember I decided that it was just too much to take with school, work, and recovery. I am definitely jumping back on the horse full swing with full-time coursework. It should be very interesting Qual 3, Philosophy of Education, and an Independent-Pilot Study.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have my work cut out for me this coming semester.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to remember to order books!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It feels like I have been out of school a very long time for some reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To tell you the truth everything feels like it was so long ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to remind myself it has only been 3 months but it feels like it has been twice that long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Speaking of time, a reflection if you will bear with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to tell everyone that patience is key to recovery, not just for us here in Tuscaloosa but for so many others around the country dealing with disasters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are a society of very inpatient, immediate gratification citizens, I don’t point fingers I just call it like I see it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish this was like a movie or video game and in the blink of an eye everything is back to normal but in reality I don’t think this city will be back to normal for a few years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Garbage pick-up, utility services, cable, transportation services, contractors, stores, etc. they are all overloaded still even 3 months out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Try and be patient with us, we are working as fast as we can to recover! For those not affected by the disaster, yes we are still talking about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that is healthy, at least for now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now if I am still talking about this in a year you might need to tell me to shut up but for now we are positive, looking toward the future, and finding resources in our daily tornado chats.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ok enough of that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, Bobby and I are doing well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually very well all things considered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are still staying at the hotel, Bobby has had to work late most every evening since we signed on the house, and every evening we are over there doing something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are stressed, not talking very much but I think things will get better soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are on auto pilot mode right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Overwhelmed, sleep deprived, and broke, but positive that things are getting back to normal; we can see it it’s just outside our reach but we can see it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had to go back to the orthopedic surgeon last week, my back finally gave out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew it was going to happen, with sleeping on the floor, air mattresses, and a bad hotel mattress, not to mention all the bending and lifting. Megan went with me, which was great because I hate going. It wasn’t too bad 3 X-rays and a diagnosis of inflamed nerves. Not much to do but give me steroids and pain meds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Too dangerous to do surgery near those rods and I am not even in the mood to contemplate another back surgery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So Bobby got to enjoy me hulking out for a few days while I was on a serious dose of steroids to get the swelling down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeh for him, ha!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Update on FEMA: not a damn thing!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Stay tuned for more on the house and our return to normal, here on the Becky soap-opera channel- queue cheesy music.</span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-23078048503788193802011-07-12T10:05:00.000-07:002011-07-12T10:05:28.185-07:00If your ever in a tornado<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So here we are closing on a house Friday July 15<sup>th</sup>. I haven’t even begun to think of how much money we will be spending in the next few weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Closing cost, putting in a fence, replacing the old appliances, fixing the floors, and painting are all costs we are going to have to pay in just a week or two. No wonder so many people rent!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gives me a panic attack just thinking about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me wrong I am excited and can’t wait to get out of that horrible hotel room, but I have this feeling like the rugs going to be pulled out from under us at any minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here at school we call that the imposter syndrome for all us graduate students who are secretly waiting for someone to find out that we really are not that smart and someone made a huge mistake accepting<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>us into a doc program (no joke we have a name for it).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So what can I tell you about the house?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, it’s a little smaller then our rental house but because it is just the two of us I don’t think we need as much room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a galley kitchen with a breakfast area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A formal dining area and a living room with a fireplace; it’s a ranch style home so all one level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The back yard is huge but mostly wild with a huge hill that drops to a creek (Bobby seems to be very excited about this, not sure why).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are replacing the flooring in the living room, hall, and dining room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kitchen linoleum is all cut up so we are having to replace that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sellers had 3 little girls and boy did they do a number on the floor and walls; not to mention the guest rooms are all colored in hot pink, pastel yellow, and lime green.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a lot of painting to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The house was built in 1991 and the appliances are original, everything is gold in the house (yuck!) and there is not a complete fence in the back for the dogs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lots of appointments are needed to be made.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are thinking we can get everything started next week and hopefully be sleeping under our new roof by next Saturday July 23<sup>rd</sup> (fingers crossed). Now to remember where everything has been stored at, looking on the bright side we are not having to move as much stuff, an advantage of a tornado, it requires you to do a lot of purging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sweet sweet sweet hairdresser is giving us mattresses and a washer dryer so we are not having to cut that into our shrinking budget which is fabulous! Overall if we can make it past the next 2 weeks we might actually be hitting the downward slope to recovery!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyone have a four piece table set they want to get rid of?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thought I would ask.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will be starting my new job August 1<sup>st</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I get to work from home mostly so that will be very strange.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am worried I will get lonely being a people person; I will have to make sure I do not become a hermit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I already have assignments to start working on, projects to develop, events to coordinate, and research to do, so no rest for the weary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am super excited about the new job but very sad to be leaving my current position.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I put so much into that program it will definitely be hard to say goodbye when the time comes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something about a tornado and the aftermath just made both Bobby and I reexamine our life and where it was heading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew I had to change things for myself and for my career. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bobby finally read the blog, I know right, way to stay informed there hubby (lol).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has decided to take over the FEMA argument from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s probably the best thing; I might end up in jail for harassment. Maybe he can get somewhere with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Overall we calculated that we are still in the hole over $10,000 and can prove it; let’s see if FEMA even attempts to help with that, I am not holding my breath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The cars are still in and out of the shop but are working so that’s another wonderful thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bobby is still driving the old truck right now, I am trying to get the body shop to give us a loaner so he can at least have air conditioning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I worry he is going to have a heat stroke soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His truck will stay in the shop until its completely fixed and then mine will go back in to fix the remaining damages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have lost a lot of value in the cars and our insurance apparently doesn’t cover loss of value (that’s a separate policy).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So just a little hint, if you live in the state of Alabama, the $10 or so a month for an additional policy for loss of value on your vehicle might be worth it, just saying.</span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-24729639540427736742011-07-08T13:46:00.001-07:002011-07-08T13:46:54.909-07:00Experiencing Normal things for a change<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You know after all this is over I need to write a book; it will entitled something like Not Your Parent’s Marriage: How to Survive a Young Marriage in a Divorcing World. (It most definitely has to have a colon).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know, just, I am so proud of us, we are working through all this in stride and learning more and more about each other every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes we have been together 8 years but still so much goes unnoticed until things like the tornado happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess in a way we are lucky, people can go their whole lives married to someone and not see who they truly are or what they are capable of in times of crisis. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ok so random thoughts on paper, check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now what’s going on with us?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a Post office box which is nice, no more standing in line for an hour to check our mail each week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have become obsessed with coupons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I quit my job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are still waiting on Bobby’s truck to get fixed, and we are finally starting to get to experience normal things like baby showers, haircuts, going to the movies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What...oh, quitting my job, yeh I figured you would catch that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes I quit my job, come on you all knew it was coming, can you blame me. Ok well maybe not all of you knew it was coming but let’s just say that after re-examining my life this was not where I needed to be or wanted to be, or could even handle being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lasted so very long and I am proud of that, I am proud of what I accomplished there and I am proud of what I learned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A great mentor once told me that everything is a learning experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Positive and Negatives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do not fret I am not suddenly unemployed, I was smart enough to wait it out until an opportunity arouse, and boy did it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am going to be truthful here I am leaving the world of full-time professional staff status (my friend pointed out I am still coping with this loss of status) and returning to the world of graduate student workmanship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a little different though, I get business cards, I get to work from home, I get to have an official title, and I get to be completely in charge of a very wonderful program on campus!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its part-time, tuition paid, and even though techniquely I am taking a pay cut each month in my paycheck I am actually getting a pay raise because I don’t have to cover any of my tuition anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trying to find a couple thousand dollars each semester was really stripping that whole budget to bare bones. So, overall as Bobby and I figured, I am actually getting a pay raise of $300 a year (ha!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cried over this decision, I prayed over this decision, I asked all my friends, I even text one in Virginia because I decided that what her answer was going to be was the way I needed to go (kind of like the magic 8 ball).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been hard to add another change to my life but hey it’s worth it and in a month or two after I freak out about how little money we have in our checking account each month I think I will be ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know right now you are thinking wait! She is trying to buy a house, recover from tornado losses, and afford school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeh I might be crazy but we are closing on a house July 15<sup>th</sup> we have been approved and we already budgeted the mortgage payment into our monthly bills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean when you have been paying rent for over 8 years it’s not that hard. We were responsible adults and refused to buy a house for $200,000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have gotten some back from the insurance company to help buffer the cost of replacing a lot of stuff and the UA donation was a big help to cover all the additional cost. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FEMA, well FEMA isn’t much help but I figured after I sent them the condemned report a few weeks back and said their inspector who thought the house was safe should revisit training- well I doubt they took that very kindly (what…it was therapy…I rather enjoyed sending that fax).</span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-19265610776081483272011-07-06T11:35:00.000-07:002011-07-06T11:35:05.219-07:00Hello Again, its been a while<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hello, it’s been a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will be honest it got overwhelming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything, insurance, hotel living, no car, bad car, more car damage, finding house, trying to find money, etc etc. was piling up along with school and work and I stopped communicating. I am better now although I have had to make a few adjustments to keep from getting overwhelmed again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was trying to give you a synopsis week by week of what has happened since the tornado but at this point it all is starting to blur together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can say that 2 ½ months have gone by we are still in a hotel and still having our cars worked on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have made progress with the property portion of our claim and insurance is finally picking up the tab on our hotel bill so things have improved considerably. Physically and materialistically we are much much better but emotionally well that’s a whole other story.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We moved out of our friends’ house about 1 ½ weeks in not wanting to stay out our welcome and realizing that Bobby and I were not communicating as a married couple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were fighting, not speaking, not sharing, and getting angry with each other for not being telepathic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our friends who are wonderful (Jackson and Megan we love you dearly!) begged us to stay but for the sake of our marriage and the sake of our friendship we moved into what was probably the only hotel room left in town (at least by the cost that is what I would imagine).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We lived in this hotel room for about a week before we could be relocated to a bigger room with a fridge and microwave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s where we are still to this day, spread out with piles of stuff in each corner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know those dressers and closet racks no one ever uses when on vacation because you just live out of a suitcase, yeh well we are actually using them, I fold clothes, hang clothes, organize shoes, for now its home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a little odd but it’s a normal routine that we were desperately seeking.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">During the time between my last post and now we got a rental car for about 3 weeks while my car was in the shop and Bobby was able to still drive the truck around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The money was donated to us by my mom’s work, they took up a collection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were overwhelmed with gratitude at the kindness they showed us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rental car helped a lot, I was able to run more errands, claim a little bit of freedom, and even travel home to see my family and our dogs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was all working out perfectly the rental car we thought would cover us until both cars were fixed and then we wouldn’t need any help with cars after that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However the body shop had other plans, they had my car 5 weeks and still didn’t fix it, it’s still damaged but its drivable so out it went and in went the truck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We desperately needed another vehicle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sweet sister-n-law was going to china around this time so we were hoping to use her car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My in-laws had other plans for it and we were going to have to find other means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going to have to start bumming rides again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally our in-laws decided to loan us a car (they have like 5) sadly and almost poetically it was the old ford ranger that my husband drove for years before getting his truck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing is on its last leg, brakes are bad, and no air conditioning. Bobby is a trooper really he is, he took it, didn’t complain and is now driving it back and forth about 120 miles a day to Birmingham.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the hottest summer on record, did I mention it doesn’t have air!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your reading this thinking I am angry aren’t you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well I am not angry I am confused.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The truck might be done this week fingers crossed and then mine will go back in for (fingers crossed) only a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will be so nice to have two reliable working vehicles again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know, silly Americans so dependent on our cars but really, its independence that comes with having a means of transportation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something we have been fighting to regain this whole time!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So what else can I tell you??... Our stuff is in a storage unit at a premium price right now, we are working full time and after a few nervous breakdowns and seeking medical help I was convinced to withdraw from classes this summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still have panic attacks when I hear the test sirens and I cry when I drive through Alberta and 15<sup>th</sup> street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have driven by the house on several occasions with a sense of longing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t sleep at all partly because of my back and the pain the rods are causing but partly because my mind is still racing at 100 mph.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have dr. apts for all the above but like any good physicians office they can’t see me for 3 weeks.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s not all doom and gloom I promise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are so much better, each week it gets better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise I am not this negative, usually people are always wondering how I can be so happy all the time (I usually smile and laugh and say medication, but really I have a very positive attitude most the time). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We do have some positive things to report.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are getting a new home!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were approved for a home loan for disaster victims and are now purchasing a home in Northport, AL.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We close July 15<sup>th</sup>. We did get the insurance to pay for the cars, personal property, and the University donated money to our family to help with outside costs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our extended family (both mine and Bobby’s) and my parents have been absolutely fantastic and understanding and going out of the way to help us any way they can. I have so many thank you notes to write!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am hoping to continue the blog more regularly, fill in some blanks, and keep everyone posted on the new place, and the new changes in our life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So much to tell!</span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-23491007140259403292011-06-05T07:08:00.000-07:002011-06-05T07:08:06.678-07:002 weeks after the storm<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wanted to say that when I started writing, it was from the beginning, things that I remember, wrote down at the time, and/or rehash over and over in my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am hoping that at some point there will be an ending.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are currently 5 week and 4 days out from the storm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Granted we are still homeless, and one car down but we are sheltered, clothed, well fed, and have reliable transportation. We are working, going to school, and even finding time write a blog. The city is still badly damaged and as best I can describe it is that the local government, our community citizens, and local businesses are acting as a band aid holding this big gaping wound together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still cry most every day, sometimes twice a day. I drive through the damaged section several times a day, looking for any sign of new construction or clean-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>AND as much as I hate to, I have to remind people that I am a survivor and still not up to 100 % yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate being vulnerable and I hate having to remind people but they forget so easily.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So back to the story I suppose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank goodness we were still looking for rental houses when we found out the first one was rented out from under us. This next house was not as well suited for us but at this point we didn’t care, it was good enough. It did need a few things done to it before we could move in but the guy seemed willing to do this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We started an application and planned on trying to get things moved in within 2 weeks or so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The storage unit was rented so we were able to have a temporary place to store our belongings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, some peace for our busy minds, our concentration could go towards arguing with the insurance company, FEMA, and our leasing agent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here we were 2 weeks out and our insurance company had not contacted us at all about our belongings claims.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The cars were still damaged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mine went to the body shop the Monday after the storm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be 3 weeks before they could get to it and tell whether or not the frame was cracked making it impossible to repair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no choice but to leave it there, it was not safe to drive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had been two weeks now since I left it with them and they still could not tell me if it was too badly damaged to repair. Bobby was back at work and had to take our one means of transportation to Birmingham each day so I was relying on rides to and from work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me wrong it was nice to have an excuse to be around people that loved and supported us but with the large amount of errands I needed to run each day while Bobby was in Birmingham I felt I might start testing the limit of my chauffeurs’ kindness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We didn’t have the money for a rental car we made do with what we could.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometime during this week things went south at work for me. I would love to write a detailed account of it all but seeing as how I still need a job I can only say that the events that followed drove me to a nervous breakdown on an elevator at my building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was mortified; I felt like running away, I began to wonder what the job market was like in Colorado. I thought for sure I would end up unemployed, or even worse sent to the Looney Ben. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After several discussion with several of my bosses (yes I have like 5 of them) it was determined I would move to another building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So here I am having to cope with a huge amount of change already and taking on one more huge change for the summer sent my psych splitting in several directions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know these people had to think by now I was absolutely out of my mind!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From this point out I was in a constant state of confusion, I didn’t know when I was moving, how my job would change, why no one was talking to me about each step, was I being punished, was I being helped, what had I done wrong, what did I need to do to prepare, what was going to happen to stuff, what would my new work home look like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh god I couldn’t sleep, all I could think about was work, I had my life falling apart around me and all I could think about was doing my job and what was going to happen to me there.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So all this was going on with work, we were living at a friend’s house on an air mattress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were down to one car but we were positive we would be able to sign a lease within a few days for a new rental house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were weary of the house, it wasn’t anything like our old house, it was more expensive, and it was in a completely different location. So for the love of god why did we go to the bank!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look back on some of these decisions and think, am I glutton for punishment, am I trying to have myself committed?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We went to the bank, we thought what the hell, here we are going to have to pay a larger rental payment for a smaller house and we had already been treated as second class citizens because we were renters what is the harm in just talking with someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So there we were sitting at the bank talking with a loan officer about applying for a mortgage with the FHA program for disaster victims.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the countless times we had tried before I assumed it would be like any other time, we would be told no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My student loans were too high, the credit scores were not high enough to compensate, etc. etc. etc. I braced myself for the bad news, thinking why am I putting myself through this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bad news didn’t come; the loan officer seemed hopeful, confident that we could get a loan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was in a state of euphoria; I didn’t know what to think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here we were ready to sign a lease, we knew we would be in Tuscaloosa at least 3 to 4 more years and we just threw another wrench in the pile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We gave the loan officer all our information and said we would compile the necessary paperwork as soon as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had to make the biggest decision of our marriage within a matter of hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should we go ahead with trying for<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>home loan and lose what we felt was probably the only opportunity we had to find suitable housing or should we just sign the lease and put this one time chance out of our minds. Stay tuned for the next episode of drama in south…..3 weeks after the storm.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">PS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sure so many of you were very worried about our local Starbucks like I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am happy to inform you that after about 6 weeks of no store they are finally back open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were very diligent in serving their customers from a trailer and I thank them profusely for doing so.</span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-62612294878764413872011-06-03T13:01:00.001-07:002011-06-05T05:54:29.179-07:00Still Refugees<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Days turned into a whole week as we searched for housing and spent god awful amount of time on hold with the insurance company, FEMA, our leasing agent, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our insurance wanted to know what was being done with the house, our leasing agent had to know what their insurance was going to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It went round and round in circles like this for days. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At this point much of Tuscaloosa was trying to get back to normal and the University was in full swing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bobby and I returned to work the following week to find mostly warm receptions and support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We felt terrible for not being at work and even worse when people wanted us to track our time once we returned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So many people we work with or encounter on a daily basis were not affected by the storm, many didn’t even know what had happened to Tuscaloosa. I understand we had to push forward and keep going but I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t prepared to leave all those memories behind just yet. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt I was in a twilight zone, I was told my personal problems should not get in the way of work, I was told that we must move forward and not let this hinder progress, I felt I was the only sane person there who understood the devastation that lay just blocks away from my place of employment. Driving through it every day not being able to find my way to the work on the roads I normally took because the landmarks were gone and I was lost was constant and real for me, I couldn’t comprehend how others could dismiss the tragedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was angry, appalled, and saddened by the lack of sympathy that so many showed toward this tragedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me wrong, the University as a whole has been amazing and the level of support from so many departments have been outstanding and encouraging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Isn’t that why we are here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are the community right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had hoped so, that’s why I work here; I just wish everyone felt like that.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trying to maintain control over my job responsibilities and my independence was very hard that first week returning to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to share everything with everyone but I also had this feeling of being exposed and dependent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t realize how private a person I really was or how much I value my independence until it was all taken away from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted so badly to share everything with everyone when they seemed so concerned about me yet I also desperately wanted my privacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So much conflict internally and externally my psych was crumbling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cried every day for hours, sometimes because of nothing at all, sometimes because of a thought, and then sometimes by something someone said. Everything was moving to slow and to fast at the same time nothing was getting fixed but nothing was getting worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again being in the twilight zone was all I kept thinking about, this wasn’t real it was all a dream.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The week passed and we had not found a storage unit nor a home to rent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had been looking and had leads on rental houses but nothing was working out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So many of the properties were destroyed and others not available until August.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We found one house that was perfect, it was huge, we could have Bobby’s siblings live with us for another year and we all could save money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked the idea of not being alone, I had come to be very dependent on people being around every hour of the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were going to sign a lease and be able to move in 2 weeks later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hurray things were looking up!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I called back on Monday to tell the agent we were headed down to bring the deposit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The agent with no empathy or care told us that sorry someone rented it this morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How could this have happened we were bringing the deposit down on Monday we told him we would, how could he just rent it out from under us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What had the world come to!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said an insurance company called that morning and put a full deposit and a few months rent down on the house, didn’t even want to see it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was so angry, heartbroken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We thought we had a plan, an ending to this story, but no we were still homeless, still refugees in a civilized nation.</span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-57183111165492625632011-06-02T18:20:00.000-07:002011-06-02T18:20:01.020-07:00Fumbling in the dark<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As we visited the house each day volunteer after volunteer approached us asking if they could help, what we needed, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bobby and I were at a loss for words the majority of the time and could only say, nothing we were fine, because honestly we didn’t know what we needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally after some coaxing one volunteer determined we needed help getting our belongings packed up and that we needed moving supplies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I agreed to accept them and told her we would be back the next day to start packing. Arriving at the house the next morning we came up to find a small army of teenagers from the church down the street waiting to help box up all our belongings that survived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were touched and overwhelmed all at the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t know where to tell them to start so I just told them to pack what they could, I didn’t care how it was packed just that it needed to be packed and moved out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again our belongings were sheltered in the two rooms we felt were secure enough to hold everything until they could be moved to a better location.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We were drawing near to our wits ends by the time we found a storage unit to put our belongings in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh the cost!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this point in the story insurance had been hit or miss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FEMA decided our house could not be deemed unsafe or uninhabitable, later the city would condemn it, that’s government for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our cars had been assessed and checks were written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both, it seems could be fixed but the time it would take would be weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no choice but to give mine up to the body shop, it was not drivable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bobby’s truck however we held on to as our only means of transportation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently rental cars were not covered in my auto insurance, something I didn’t know and would have gladly been paying for. We had yet to find a house to rent and we felt time was running out before the bad weather would arrive again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally my father made a decision to come back up once again with a covered trailer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He would get all he could and take it back to Opelika.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we loaded box after box in the trailer I finally felt a sense of ease.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My belongings were going to be safe at home with my parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is silly but they were all I had left I wanted them to stay unharmed. As I think back on it I wonder how much of it survived the frenzied packing and the hurried loading. I suppose I will find out one day.</span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-31698270086304199502011-06-01T06:49:00.001-07:002011-06-01T06:49:47.653-07:00The week that followed<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first weeks after the tornado are mostly a blur now but here is what I remember:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The day after the tornado my mother, father, sister, brother-in-laws, sister-in-law, two close friends and one of their fathers set out to uncover the cars from the garage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know why we decided that was what needed to be done but it was as good a place to start as any.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cars were buried under 3 large pine trees and layers of ceiling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The insulation was everywhere; we were breathing it, wearing it, and at one point eating it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took 7 men to get the cars out and one very large pick-up truck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To our surprise they both cranked up and we were able to back them out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To my devastation my car, my baby, the thing that I cherished the most was so badly damaged it looked like it had been in a 3 car pile-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bobby’s brand new truck looked well in a word pathetic but it was drivable and fixable. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The cars were finally free and the majority of our energy was spent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone was sunburned and dehydrated but there was so much more to be done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We didn’t know what to do about the roof the trees were still sticking out of the house and tarps would be impossible to get on until the trees were taken out however it was very obvious climbing on them or entering the house at that area was extremely unsafe.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With the help of my family and friends we began packing more necessity items like clothes and toiletries that we could find that were not covered in glass or water damaged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We ended up filling 2 suitcases and a basket full of clothes to take with us in Bobby’s truck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rest was divided into what we wanted to save and what could be left behind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our most valuable items that survived (pictures, jewelry, electronics, and documents) were to go with my parents back to Opelika for safe keeping the rest stayed in the house. Windows were boarded up and I started to deadbolt the doors (for the life of me I am not sure why, it wasn’t going to stop someone from coming in).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The next thing was to assess the furniture and what survived the initial storm and what did not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are very lucky a lot of our items survived but for how long we didn’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were open holes everywhere and the good weather would not hold for too many more days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We decided to tarp what we could and leave it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The day had its ups and downs with happy moments and a lot of sad moments as we realized what was lost and who was lost in our neighborhood.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We spent the first 5 days after the tornado at a friend of a friend’s house with all 4 adults sharing a room and bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We took comfort that we were all together and we felt separation anxiety when we were apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look back on it and think that if it had not been for Jackson and Megan I would not be able to strongly push forward as I am today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our friends all of them here in Tuscaloosa and far away mean so much to us and they have been nothing but wonderful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our family, from the countless day trips to the phone calls to the offerings they have given are what has helped Bobby and I the most and we are forever in debt to all of you!</span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7848692513864810912.post-6531258365840320622011-05-31T14:09:00.000-07:002015-04-27T07:36:11.636-07:00From the beginning<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Wednesday April 27<sup>th</sup> will be forever ingrained in my mind not as the day after my wedding anniversary to what I believe to be the best man in the world but as the day that I survived an EF 4 tornado that came ripping through my neighborhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What we later found was that the center of the tornado came no more than 100 yard from the house and if it had not been for the trees that fell first the house would have been taken away like so many more on our street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What saved us were those stupid pine trees that we had been complaining about all these years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were not prepared, there was no mattress over our heads, no weather radio on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We like many others were almost in a state of denial that this was a real serious situation that warranted our need to seek shelter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However the 5 most horrifying minutes of my life happened and one fatal moment our lives have been forever changed and our character as human beings has been tested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We survived the storm to find the house in shambles around us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We thought we were lucky still being able to count the 4 hall walls around us but little did we know what lay beyond those walls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The house had been moved off its foundations and outside walls were crumbling including the garage which held our cars captive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Outside the smell of gas and sewage became overwhelming as we scrambled around trying to help our neighbors account for everyone in the neighborhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was terrifying, it was a nightmare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I can now say, it was as if my one little neighborhood in Tuscaloosa AL had witnessed a bomb and we were now all refugees trying to survive. We didn’t know where to go or what to do, communication was limited to the outside world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally we heard familiar voices outside after huddling inside the hall again fearing more storms were approaching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our friends had found us! They came running into the house hoping to find us unharmed and safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We quickly said hello for we needed to leave the house soon, night was falling and it was not safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We ran through the rooms with glass nicking our feet as we went trying to throw together a bag with what personal items remained so we could start the long trek to an usable vehicle about a mile away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we left the house, animals on leashes, flashlights in hand, and bags thrown over our shoulders we became confused and disoriented for the landmarks were gone and we could not tell which direction we were suppose to head in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After several minutes of walking in the dark with so many others just like us by our side the neighborhood began to redefine and familiar outlines started to emerge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As devastating as it was to walk through the disaster area I have to say that it was just as overwhelming to come across the section of town untouched as if nothing had happened only a few hours before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What happened in the days that followed can only be described as grief mixed with a disorganized chaos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had nowhere to live, we had no way of getting the stuff that survived out of the ruble, we had no way of comprehending what to do next.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we tried to wrap our heads around the gravity of the situation we were fighting with our instincts to continue our normal routine by working or paying bills etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This fight with reality and what seemed to be disillusion continued for days before family finally took over and started telling us what we needed to do and how to do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our basic decision making skills were gone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am not looking for handouts nor am I looking for sympathy when writing all this down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to write it down before I forget it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To understand what I went through and how I handled it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My emotions are flowing through me so forcefully that if I don’t get this out I might cause more harm than good.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Emotions of guilt, sorrow, sadness, and even anger are emerging on a day to day bases even after 1 month has passed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I work because it is a familiar normality that I have the luxury of having unlike so many others still in a state of chaos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband and I are forced to go back to the home that is no longer ours each week because of FEMA, insurance, etc causing a surge of emotions to come flowing out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been met with so many different reactions from people in our lives that I have become numb and no longer surprised with others reactions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To those that continue to tell me it could have been worse: Yes, you are absolutely right and my husband and I tell each other that every day but for us for the reality of it all, things are about as worse as we can handle and I speak for all of us survivors when I say that statement is not helping one bit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To those that dismiss us because we are renters: Yes, you are right we can pick up and move on, just like the countless homeowners that are doing so right now as I am informed by my reality agent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes we rented we lived in that house 5 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We celebrated our marriage, 2 graduations, birthdays, new hires, promotions, and holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We coped with funerals, lost love ones, and life’s unfortunate turns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Five years we did this, we hung pictures, painted walls, landscaped, changed fixtures, and created a space that was ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That house was our home and we lost it whether we rented or not we have suffered a lose.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To those that have been busy and do not understand what has happened here: It’s ok, we understand, life happens and sometimes we don’t have the time or ability to understand what is happening in front of us let alone in someone else’s backyard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only have this to stay, be patient with us we are suffering and we are going to need a lot of time to recover.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To those that expect me to be 100% by now: Believe me I want to be but I can’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some days are better than others, some days are horrible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am dealing with it, for the most part privately because that is who I am but don’t forget. This happened!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As for now my husband and I are making the best decisions we can for what is best for our family. Believe me we have been offered tons of advice, opinions, and options which all in all is better then having none of those things. We working through all of them. We are safe, well feed, and have a roof over our heads. </span></div>
Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08764212280648045781noreply@blogger.com0