Final Count Down to Normal

Almost 3 months out since the tornado.  Someone said the other day it is sad how Tuscaloosa residents are now saying post tornado or before the tornado when talking about time frames.  Almost like post-war stories.  The city has become like fields of dirt over the last few weeks with so much debris being cleared.  Our city council has finally brought forth a plan of action to rebuild and I am hopeful all those waiting on building permits will not be waiting much longer.  I know there has been so much controversy over what will be done with the land that has been cleared.  Will it become commercial, will it become condos, and will apartments rule the borders of the university.  I, for one, am glad to see the city put its foot down and left much of the residential area that was destroyed as residential.  I would hate to see the town become non-family friendly and put up even more apartments then we have students.  I know some people wanted condos and apartments and commercial areas but that would make all the residence have to go out to the county just to find housing.  I think our Major is doing an excellent job and he is really hearing what the residences of Tuscaloosa want.  Kudos to you Major Maddox!

Our body shop for the cars I think is screening my calls.  I don’t have proof yet but they can’t all be at lunch from 10-4!  The truck is in the shop indefinitely and the old ford now needs new breaks and has stalled like a million times.  Thanks Bob! Way to go there.  Still not angry, ok maybe a little angry.  We might just have to figure out how to get another rental car; I can’t stand the idea of Bobby driving that thing back and forth to Birmingham anymore.  I would drive it but I am not very good at a manual and I can’t even push the clutch down it’s so stiff.  My car is still acting very peculiar and needs a lot more body work before I can say its fixed but it is running and the air is working so I suppose I have absolutely no room to complain.

I start my new job August 1^st.  I am extremely excited about it.  I hope I am doing the right thing, I think I am doing the right thing.  I have to be doing the right thing, right? Funny thing about that tornado, it makes you want to either jump ship or persevere through things.  I decided the job wasn’t worth it and my academic career was so here’s to a new chapter; let’s hope it opens many doors!

I start back to school this August.  You might remember I decided that it was just too much to take with school, work, and recovery. I am definitely jumping back on the horse full swing with full-time coursework. It should be very interesting Qual 3, Philosophy of Education, and an Independent-Pilot Study.  I have my work cut out for me this coming semester.  I have to remember to order books!  It feels like I have been out of school a very long time for some reason.  To tell you the truth everything feels like it was so long ago.  I have to remind myself it has only been 3 months but it feels like it has been twice that long. 

Speaking of time, a reflection if you will bear with me.  I want to tell everyone that patience is key to recovery, not just for us here in Tuscaloosa but for so many others around the country dealing with disasters.  We are a society of very inpatient, immediate gratification citizens, I don’t point fingers I just call it like I see it.  I wish this was like a movie or video game and in the blink of an eye everything is back to normal but in reality I don’t think this city will be back to normal for a few years.  Garbage pick-up, utility services, cable, transportation services, contractors, stores, etc. they are all overloaded still even 3 months out.  Try and be patient with us, we are working as fast as we can to recover! For those not affected by the disaster, yes we are still talking about it.  I think that is healthy, at least for now.  Now if I am still talking about this in a year you might need to tell me to shut up but for now we are positive, looking toward the future, and finding resources in our daily tornado chats.

Ok enough of that.  So, Bobby and I are doing well.  Actually very well all things considered.  We are still staying at the hotel, Bobby has had to work late most every evening since we signed on the house, and every evening we are over there doing something.  We are stressed, not talking very much but I think things will get better soon.  We are on auto pilot mode right now.  Overwhelmed, sleep deprived, and broke, but positive that things are getting back to normal; we can see it it’s just outside our reach but we can see it.

I had to go back to the orthopedic surgeon last week, my back finally gave out.  I knew it was going to happen, with sleeping on the floor, air mattresses, and a bad hotel mattress, not to mention all the bending and lifting. Megan went with me, which was great because I hate going. It wasn’t too bad 3 X-rays and a diagnosis of inflamed nerves. Not much to do but give me steroids and pain meds.  Too dangerous to do surgery near those rods and I am not even in the mood to contemplate another back surgery.  So Bobby got to enjoy me hulking out for a few days while I was on a serious dose of steroids to get the swelling down.  Yeh for him, ha!

Update on FEMA: not a damn thing!

Stay tuned for more on the house and our return to normal, here on the Becky soap-opera channel- queue cheesy music.

If your ever in a tornado

So here we are closing on a house Friday July 15^th. I haven’t even begun to think of how much money we will be spending in the next few weeks.  Closing cost, putting in a fence, replacing the old appliances, fixing the floors, and painting are all costs we are going to have to pay in just a week or two. No wonder so many people rent!  Gives me a panic attack just thinking about it.  Don’t get me wrong I am excited and can’t wait to get out of that horrible hotel room, but I have this feeling like the rugs going to be pulled out from under us at any minute.  Here at school we call that the imposter syndrome for all us graduate students who are secretly waiting for someone to find out that we really are not that smart and someone made a huge mistake accepting  us into a doc program (no joke we have a name for it).

So what can I tell you about the house?  Well, it’s a little smaller then our rental house but because it is just the two of us I don’t think we need as much room.  It has 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.  It is a galley kitchen with a breakfast area.  A formal dining area and a living room with a fireplace; it’s a ranch style home so all one level.  The back yard is huge but mostly wild with a huge hill that drops to a creek (Bobby seems to be very excited about this, not sure why).  We are replacing the flooring in the living room, hall, and dining room.  The kitchen linoleum is all cut up so we are having to replace that.  The sellers had 3 little girls and boy did they do a number on the floor and walls; not to mention the guest rooms are all colored in hot pink, pastel yellow, and lime green.  We have a lot of painting to do.  The house was built in 1991 and the appliances are original, everything is gold in the house (yuck!) and there is not a complete fence in the back for the dogs.  Lots of appointments are needed to be made.  We are thinking we can get everything started next week and hopefully be sleeping under our new roof by next Saturday July 23^rd (fingers crossed). Now to remember where everything has been stored at, looking on the bright side we are not having to move as much stuff, an advantage of a tornado, it requires you to do a lot of purging.  My sweet sweet sweet hairdresser is giving us mattresses and a washer dryer so we are not having to cut that into our shrinking budget which is fabulous! Overall if we can make it past the next 2 weeks we might actually be hitting the downward slope to recovery!  Anyone have a four piece table set they want to get rid of?  Thought I would ask.

I will be starting my new job August 1^st.  I get to work from home mostly so that will be very strange.  I am worried I will get lonely being a people person; I will have to make sure I do not become a hermit.  I already have assignments to start working on, projects to develop, events to coordinate, and research to do, so no rest for the weary.  I am super excited about the new job but very sad to be leaving my current position.  I put so much into that program it will definitely be hard to say goodbye when the time comes.  Something about a tornado and the aftermath just made both Bobby and I reexamine our life and where it was heading.  I knew I had to change things for myself and for my career.

Bobby finally read the blog, I know right, way to stay informed there hubby (lol).  He has decided to take over the FEMA argument from me.  That’s probably the best thing; I might end up in jail for harassment. Maybe he can get somewhere with them.  Overall we calculated that we are still in the hole over $10,000 and can prove it; let’s see if FEMA even attempts to help with that, I am not holding my breath. 

The cars are still in and out of the shop but are working so that’s another wonderful thing.  Bobby is still driving the old truck right now, I am trying to get the body shop to give us a loaner so he can at least have air conditioning.  I worry he is going to have a heat stroke soon.  His truck will stay in the shop until its completely fixed and then mine will go back in to fix the remaining damages.  We have lost a lot of value in the cars and our insurance apparently doesn’t cover loss of value (that’s a separate policy).  So just a little hint, if you live in the state of Alabama, the $10 or so a month for an additional policy for loss of value on your vehicle might be worth it, just saying.

Experiencing Normal things for a change

You know after all this is over I need to write a book; it will entitled something like Not Your Parent’s Marriage: How to Survive a Young Marriage in a Divorcing World. (It most definitely has to have a colon).  I don’t know, just, I am so proud of us, we are working through all this in stride and learning more and more about each other every day.  Yes we have been together 8 years but still so much goes unnoticed until things like the tornado happen.  I guess in a way we are lucky, people can go their whole lives married to someone and not see who they truly are or what they are capable of in times of crisis.

Ok so random thoughts on paper, check.  Now what’s going on with us?  We have a Post office box which is nice, no more standing in line for an hour to check our mail each week.  I have become obsessed with coupons.  I quit my job.  We are still waiting on Bobby’s truck to get fixed, and we are finally starting to get to experience normal things like baby showers, haircuts, going to the movies. 

What...oh, quitting my job, yeh I figured you would catch that.  Yes I quit my job, come on you all knew it was coming, can you blame me. Ok well maybe not all of you knew it was coming but let’s just say that after re-examining my life this was not where I needed to be or wanted to be, or could even handle being.  I lasted so very long and I am proud of that, I am proud of what I accomplished there and I am proud of what I learned.  A great mentor once told me that everything is a learning experience.  Positive and Negatives.  Do not fret I am not suddenly unemployed, I was smart enough to wait it out until an opportunity arouse, and boy did it!  I am going to be truthful here I am leaving the world of full-time professional staff status (my friend pointed out I am still coping with this loss of status) and returning to the world of graduate student workmanship.   It’s a little different though, I get business cards, I get to work from home, I get to have an official title, and I get to be completely in charge of a very wonderful program on campus!  Its part-time, tuition paid, and even though techniquely I am taking a pay cut each month in my paycheck I am actually getting a pay raise because I don’t have to cover any of my tuition anymore.  Trying to find a couple thousand dollars each semester was really stripping that whole budget to bare bones. So, overall as Bobby and I figured, I am actually getting a pay raise of $300 a year (ha!).  I cried over this decision, I prayed over this decision, I asked all my friends, I even text one in Virginia because I decided that what her answer was going to be was the way I needed to go (kind of like the magic 8 ball).  It has been hard to add another change to my life but hey it’s worth it and in a month or two after I freak out about how little money we have in our checking account each month I think I will be ok. 

I know right now you are thinking wait! She is trying to buy a house, recover from tornado losses, and afford school.  Yeh I might be crazy but we are closing on a house July 15^th we have been approved and we already budgeted the mortgage payment into our monthly bills.  I mean when you have been paying rent for over 8 years it’s not that hard. We were responsible adults and refused to buy a house for $200,000.  We have gotten some back from the insurance company to help buffer the cost of replacing a lot of stuff and the UA donation was a big help to cover all the additional cost.  FEMA, well FEMA isn’t much help but I figured after I sent them the condemned report a few weeks back and said their inspector who thought the house was safe should revisit training- well I doubt they took that very kindly (what…it was therapy…I rather enjoyed sending that fax).

Hello Again, its been a while

Hello, it’s been a while.  I will be honest it got overwhelming.  Everything, insurance, hotel living, no car, bad car, more car damage, finding house, trying to find money, etc etc. was piling up along with school and work and I stopped communicating. I am better now although I have had to make a few adjustments to keep from getting overwhelmed again. 

I was trying to give you a synopsis week by week of what has happened since the tornado but at this point it all is starting to blur together.  I can say that 2 ½ months have gone by we are still in a hotel and still having our cars worked on.  We have made progress with the property portion of our claim and insurance is finally picking up the tab on our hotel bill so things have improved considerably. Physically and materialistically we are much much better but emotionally well that’s a whole other story.

We moved out of our friends’ house about 1 ½ weeks in not wanting to stay out our welcome and realizing that Bobby and I were not communicating as a married couple.  We were fighting, not speaking, not sharing, and getting angry with each other for not being telepathic.  Our friends who are wonderful (Jackson and Megan we love you dearly!) begged us to stay but for the sake of our marriage and the sake of our friendship we moved into what was probably the only hotel room left in town (at least by the cost that is what I would imagine).  We lived in this hotel room for about a week before we could be relocated to a bigger room with a fridge and microwave.  That’s where we are still to this day, spread out with piles of stuff in each corner.  You know those dressers and closet racks no one ever uses when on vacation because you just live out of a suitcase, yeh well we are actually using them, I fold clothes, hang clothes, organize shoes, for now its home.  It’s a little odd but it’s a normal routine that we were desperately seeking.

During the time between my last post and now we got a rental car for about 3 weeks while my car was in the shop and Bobby was able to still drive the truck around.  The money was donated to us by my mom’s work, they took up a collection.  We were overwhelmed with gratitude at the kindness they showed us.  The rental car helped a lot, I was able to run more errands, claim a little bit of freedom, and even travel home to see my family and our dogs.  It was all working out perfectly the rental car we thought would cover us until both cars were fixed and then we wouldn’t need any help with cars after that.  However the body shop had other plans, they had my car 5 weeks and still didn’t fix it, it’s still damaged but its drivable so out it went and in went the truck.  We desperately needed another vehicle.  My sweet sister-n-law was going to china around this time so we were hoping to use her car.  My in-laws had other plans for it and we were going to have to find other means.  I was going to have to start bumming rides again.  Finally our in-laws decided to loan us a car (they have like 5) sadly and almost poetically it was the old ford ranger that my husband drove for years before getting his truck.  The thing is on its last leg, brakes are bad, and no air conditioning. Bobby is a trooper really he is, he took it, didn’t complain and is now driving it back and forth about 120 miles a day to Birmingham.  It is the hottest summer on record, did I mention it doesn’t have air!  Your reading this thinking I am angry aren’t you?  Well I am not angry I am confused.  The truck might be done this week fingers crossed and then mine will go back in for (fingers crossed) only a week.  It will be so nice to have two reliable working vehicles again.  I know, silly Americans so dependent on our cars but really, its independence that comes with having a means of transportation.  Something we have been fighting to regain this whole time!

So what else can I tell you??... Our stuff is in a storage unit at a premium price right now, we are working full time and after a few nervous breakdowns and seeking medical help I was convinced to withdraw from classes this summer.  I still have panic attacks when I hear the test sirens and I cry when I drive through Alberta and 15^th street.  I have driven by the house on several occasions with a sense of longing.  I can’t sleep at all partly because of my back and the pain the rods are causing but partly because my mind is still racing at 100 mph.  I have dr. apts for all the above but like any good physicians office they can’t see me for 3 weeks.

It’s not all doom and gloom I promise.  We are so much better, each week it gets better.  I promise I am not this negative, usually people are always wondering how I can be so happy all the time (I usually smile and laugh and say medication, but really I have a very positive attitude most the time).  We do have some positive things to report.  We are getting a new home!  We were approved for a home loan for disaster victims and are now purchasing a home in Northport, AL.  We close July 15^th. We did get the insurance to pay for the cars, personal property, and the University donated money to our family to help with outside costs.  Our extended family (both mine and Bobby’s) and my parents have been absolutely fantastic and understanding and going out of the way to help us any way they can. I have so many thank you notes to write!  I am hoping to continue the blog more regularly, fill in some blanks, and keep everyone posted on the new place, and the new changes in our life.  So much to tell!